Yesterday we had our monthly communion coffee gathering. It is a gathering of the older members of the congregation who are not always able to attend church on Sundays. So we get together once a month for a communion service, followed by coffee and snacks (mostly sweets, of course). During the coffee time, I sat next to June. In the middle of that time together we overheard Lola talking about making noodles every year and I mentioned to June that two things I want to do are learn to make noodles and bake bread. "well it's easy to bake bread, pastor" June said. "I guess, but I'm not always the most patient person when it comes to recipes." June laughed for a second...and I realized in that moment the irony in the statement I just made.
It was ironic because certain 'recipes' I love...especially the 'recipes' we use during the liturgy. That ordo is sacred to me, and while I'm good at going with the flow when something happens, I am most comfortable when I know what is supposed to happen...how the recipe is supposed to turn out. And then there's music, I love improv now and then, but singing or playing a piece exactly as it was written...according to the recipe...it very enjoyable for me. So how come I have no patience with recipes in the kitchen. I've gotten by without them for the most part, but that also means that I don't bake. Cooking you can fudge with, baking you can't. I spent part of yesterday afternoon pondering these things and then I went to the grocery store to pick up food for the week. I was on my way out and said to myself "oh, the heck with it," turned down the baking aisle and bought a box of 9 grain bread mix and a loaf pan. I took it home and followed the directions...here's what I discovered
Baking bread is amazing. And not just because the house/apartment smells wonderful when you bake it. But there is so much to baking bread that is out of your control. You follow the directions, cut in the butter/oil, activate the yeast, mix the wet and dry ingredients and then you let it alone for atleast an hour. Then you kneed it for five minutes, put the dough in a loaf pan and let it alone for an hour and then it goes in the oven. The majority of the prep time involves leaving it alone, waiting for the yeast to activate, the dough to rise, the bread to bake. What an amazing exercise to do in the midst of the "bread of life discourse" doing what you can and then letting go and watching what happens in the mean time. I think that says a lot about life.
We can follow a certain recipe of things that we are supposed to do, things we are supposed to say...but in the end, the important part is letting things happen. If the dough is going to rise, it will rise...if not it won't. It's about being, rather than doing. Letting God in instead of doing it all by ourselves. Cause in the end, it's not about us...it's about the bread of life. Even though sometimes, letting go and letting God do the work is not the easiest thing to do.
I think I'm going to bake some more this week. I think I'm going to bake a loaf of bread for a friend and bake a loaf or two for tomorrow's work day. It will take a lot of patience...but in the end, it will be worth it.
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