Serving God through Self Care

"The ordained minister needs to be an example of self-care, as well as caring for others. The
significant demands of time and effort within the office of ordained ministry can lead one to
neglect proper nutrition, exercise, and time for recreation. The congregation, or whatever agency
or institution the ordained minister serves, should respect the need for the ordained minister to
have adequate time for self-care. Caring for self also includes seeking counseling and/or medical
care when there is evidence of physical or mental illness, substance abuse, eating disorders, or
relational problems." Vision and Expectations Ordained Ministers in the Evangelical Lutheran church in America, Page 9.

"Remember, you serve God.  Not the church." Multiple colleagues have told me this in the last 6 years.  The first time I heard it, it was on the heels of the death of Bishop John Schreiber, who suffered a heart attack and died suddenly.  The last time I heard this was from a colleague who mentioned this to me as I was preparing to leave my first call in Kansas to take the call at St. John in Dundee, MI.

I didn't get it until a combination of factors left me hiding my bathroom one morning, hands shaking out of fear, as I called the psychiatry intake line at the University of Michigan.  I was ashamed that in the midst of celebrating my child's sixth month birthday and moving to a new place, much closer to family, I couldn't keep depression away.  I wrote about this in a post a couple months ago so there's really no need to rehash it.

I am happy to report that I am doing much better now.  I am doing so well, in fact, that when I saw my psychiatrist in January, she did not recognize me because of the level of improvement in my condition.

What does this have to do with serving God and not the church? I have learned in the last couple months that serving God and being attentive to God's call is what allows me to serve the church.  I cannot serve my family without serving God first and I cannot serve the church without serving God first.  And to do that well, I need to be better at taking care of myself.

If the church is going to grow healthy leaders, congregations and church leadership need to pay more attention to what is included in the paragraph I quoted from Vision and Expectations.  We have gotten so caught up on the sex thing and who is marrying who, all the while bishops are dying of heart attacks and falling prey to addiction, pastors are having psychological breakdowns as well as breakdowns in their general health.

We need to be held more accountable for our physical and mental health if we are going to do our best at being life partners, parents, friends, pastors, servants of God.

I am holding myself accountable by reporting my weight to my mother each week.  I am also going to hold myself accountable by reporting my activity to you.  I have worked really hard to get my mental health in order and I have made awesome progress.  I dance around the kitchen again.  It is time to get my physical health in as good of shape.

Current weight (as of this morning): 177.2 lbs
Goal weight: 140 lbs
Vitamins: check!
Fruits and Veggies: coming out of my ears
Exercise: growth area